


The Good Traitor

by merlinsheart



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:07:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24131797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlinsheart/pseuds/merlinsheart
Summary: "My queen-" she started, and even without looking at her face she knew what came next."So he finally has betrayed me."She turned around, feeling her limbs and her heart heavier than she would have liked to admit. And while Morgana knew this moment was going to arrive sooner rather than later, she wanted to revel in the oblivion, in the sweetness of that lie. A beautiful, short-lived lie. She realized, there and then, that she'd lay down her throne for that lie, but shook her head at the thought.
Relationships: Gwaine & Morgana (Merlin), Gwaine/Morgana (Merlin), Morgana (Merlin)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 8





	The Good Traitor

Morgana gazed out the frozen window, watching the snowflakes dance in the frosty wind, a view sad as well as beautiful. She had heard the steps approaching long before the sharp knock on her door, yet she could bot move. 

The door opened with a creaking sound, and she somehow recognized the sound of Kisa's breath before she started speaking. 

"My queen-" she started, and even without looking at her face she knew what came next. 

"So he finally has betrayed me." 

She turned around, feeling her limbs and her heart heavier than she would have liked to admit. And while Morgana knew this moment was going to arrive sooner rather than later, she wanted to revel in the oblivion, in the sweetness of that lie. A beautiful, short-lived lie. She realized, there and then, that she'd lay down her throne for that lie, but shook her head at the thought. 

Kisa looked her in the eyes as if she could see right through her. And maybe she could. 

"He has never been on your side, your majesty," she said, her brown eyes gleaming with understanding and maybe something more. Something close to friendship and another glimpse, one she has only seen once and failed to find its meaning. 

She couldn't bare to look at her now. She headed to her place by the window, and looked outside, without really seeing anything.

"Then he leaves me no choice, than to kill him." The words left a pain in her throat, and as if Kisa could feel it, she came closer and squeezed her hand. At least she was polite enough not to mention the slight tremor and unnatural cold of her hands. Kisa was a true friend. She valued her counsel, and Kisa was now perhaps her last connection with goodness, the path she'd left a long time ago.

"Perhaps he can lead us to his friends. He might still prove useful after all." 

"No!" The word came out harsher than it should have, and she struggled to regain control. "What kind of queen am I if I don't punish those who betray me?" 

"You don't have to do this." Morgana kept thinking for a while, her cold hand in Kisa's warm one. But there was nothing to think about. No other option. That's what being a queen is, making hard decisions, right? 

"Yes, I do." Kisa sighed, and removed her hand. She gave her a formal bow. "As you command, my queen." 

"Don't send the patrol, though. Send one assassin." She didn't know why she had said that, but Kisa nodded and left anyway. There was a glimpse of hope in her eyes, for some reason. Perhaps she hoped he might still manage to escape one man, even a fighter as good as one of her hired assassins. Perhaps she knew a part of her would die if he would. 

*

There was no way in hell he could escape Morgan's soldiers if she were to send them after him, Gwaine knew it. And yet... he hoped he would. And that hope fueled him to go forward, even if his heart ached to go back. Either way, it meant committing treason. He had to go to warn Arthur about Morgan's plans to take over Camelot, yes, but didn't that mean betraying her trust? 

He didn't dare speak the word, not even in his own thoughts. It made him sad and ashamed to admit it, even though in his heart he knew it was true. In another life, he would have loved her well. Without her enchantments and her lust for power, perhaps it would have been true. But it wasn't. 

She had deceived him, fooled him, bewitched him. He didn't know how he had found the will to escape, even if he did so with a heavy heart. There was nothing left for him there. Just the traces of a love spell or potion or whatever witches like her do. 

A wolf howled somewhere in the distance. The sound made him feel sad and lonely. And then, silence hit him as hard as a stone, and he realized something was wrong. He wasn't alone. 

When a man all dressed in black, with a mask covering his face appeared out of nowhere, he realized he needed the fight, his muscles ached for it. He had smuggled a knife from the castle, and pulled it out in an instant, but the man pinned him to the ground with skilled moves just so trying to use it was impossible. Gwaine didn't know if it was because of the thrill, or his own restless thoughts, but he started laughing. So hard and so sincere, it made his would be killer confused. 

He took the chance and head-butted him, freeing himself as the man recovered from his hit. Gwaine grabbed the knife but before he had the chance to finish the job, he found himself with a sword at his throat. His first thought was that he had underestimated him, and that he was not ready to die a traitor. Suddenly and without warning, he was hit by something more powerful than a man's hand or sword, something like a wave of energy. Magic. 

His assassin lay in the snow, with his eyes open and empty of life. Broken neck, perhaps. The coldness hit his face when he fell to the ground, and he cringed, raising his head. There stood a familiar figure. Brown eyes turned golden, black cloak, chocolate colored skin, a lady shining almost as bright as her queen. Kisa.

"I trusted you'd defeat him without my intervention," she said. 

"You were here?" is all he could ask, taken aback by Morgana's very own personal adviser. If there was one thing he knew for certain, was that Kisa hated him. It was written all over her face, every time he saw her, and even now, the hatred was there. 

"I was here. Now get up." And he did. 

*

"Why did you save me?" he asked, walking beside her. "We both know you've wanted me gone from the moment I arrived."

"As I still do. If it were my choice, your head would be on a spike, or even better, sent as a gift to your king." She spit the last word, and through her insults, he could see a ray of hope. 

"Your queen had you free me?" She raised her eyebrows. 

"My queen sent an assassin to execute you for treason, Sir." He must have looked puzzled, for Kisa continued, this time on a softer tone. "It is her duty, you must understand that." This time, her voice sounded more like she was defending Morgana. He might hate her as much as she hated him, but he had to admit that Morgana couldn't ask for a better friend than Kisa.

She was leading him to the palace, he could feel it. They walked in silence, because for the first time in a long while, Gwaine found himself unable to say anything that would benefit him. That would excuse what he did. His betrayal to both sides

"She loves you, you know." said Kisa, breaking the silence. He stopped walking suddenly, and his eyes forced her to maintain eye contact. There was honesty in her eyes, and sadness too. It pained her to tell him this, he realized. 

"What are you talking about? She enchanted me, deceived me, she used me." Kisa's face quickly turned from sadness to anger as her hand slapped his face. 

"She bewitched you, yes. But not in the way you seem to think." He looked away, failing to process the information. Kisa was lying, she had to be. But he knew she had no reason to do so. What he and Morgana had was a lie. It was wrong and her face and physique and her appeal couldn't change that. 

"I cannot love her, not the way she wants to. She wants someone loyal to her, someone who would be willing to die for her cause as well as for her." Someone like you, he almost said, but the words refused to came out. Kisa sighed - she knew he was right. 

"I'd follow her to hell if she asked me to. But that doesn't mean the path she follows is the right one." He blinked in confusion, and then, the realization came to him.

"You want me to stop her." He said, and a laugh escaped his lips. "As if I didn't try already. She values power above everything else." 

"We shall see." Kisa said bitterly. And it was not like he had a choice - at best, he'd see Morgana again, even if just to face her anger. And at worst... he didn't want to think of it.

* 

She did not move once from her window, only seeing Gwaine's face in front of her, blood covering his beautiful features and the eyes that were once full of life being empty. 

At least, she was now rid of a traitor. She'll have to display his body in the courtyard, to show her subjects what happened if they crossed her, she realized bitterly. Camelot would be hers within a week, and yet that thought did not bring her joy anymore, just hollowness and sadness where the lust for power should have been. 

She remembered when she made him fight those brutes to earn his supper, and that memory left a bitter taste in her mouth. The people could rot for all she cared, and she wouldn't even flinch at the sight of a man being torn apart by an angry crowd, and even though she didn't feel that way back then, now the way she treated hin pained her more than she could say. 

From the first moment she had laid her eyes on him, she felt drawn to him. His physique, yes. She wanted him even back then, yes. But there was also a sadness in her eyes when she looked at him, and she couldn't quite explain it. When she captured him the other day day, along with the other knights, she didn't see hatred in his eyes. Just his usual charm, displaying in front of her like he wasn't pinned to the ground by her soldiers. 

She couldn't bear to let him rot in the mines with the others, regardless of the fact that Kisa advised her not to show favoritism. Instead, she kept him in a separate dungeon for a few days before finding the courage to summon him to her chambers. 

"A private audience with the queen, what an honor!" He said to her thay day, smirking as the guards forced him onto the chair jn front of her bed, and tied his chains to it.

She shamelessly examined him from head to toe, trying to keep a stern eye. Maybe it was his the look on his face, but in that moment, even though he was a prisoner and at her mercy, she did not feel in control at all.

"Like what you see, your majesty?" He grinned, raising his chin and forcing her to maintain eye contact. She realized there was no way she wouldn't give in. There was desire in his eyes, and if he was faking it, she had to admit he was doing it damn well. 

"You are a sight for sore eyes, Sir Knight." He was asking for it, after all. She desired him, yes. But there was something else as well. He was brave, braver than any man she'd ever seen. And he was loyal, loyal to his king. The time for torturing him into giving away information has been over for a long time, she knew he wouldn't betray Arthur at any price; there was nothing stopping her from killing him. And yet... 

"Why am I here, dare I ask?" His tone was full of arrogance, as if he knew she had a weakness for him. 

"I like you." She simply answered. Brave, honourable, charming... In another life, I might have loved a man like him, she thought. 

"I shall not listen to your compliments while I'm tied to a chair," he said, raising his hands to display his chains, she felt the patience running out of him. 

He wanted to know why he was there.

And as a matter of fact so did she.

There was no coming back now, she thought, and she found herself walking, bare footed, towards his chair, not breaking eye contact. 

"Then perhaps we should get rid of those." She said, gesturing her head towards his chains. Her eyes turned gold as she used her power to unlock them, and the heavy chains fell to the ground. She came closer.

In that moment, he stood up, towering over her, looking in her eyes as if so many things were hidden in there beyond reach. Morgana felt the heat raising to her face. That damned fireplace.

"I need to know where my friends are." He said, with a strange glimmer in his eyes. And the flame she has felt a moment ago faded. She couldn't bear to look at him now.

"They're safe, for now." She answered, and started pacing around the room, only to sit back on the bed. He gave her a strange look, and she could tell exactly what he was thinking. Men.

"Don't get any thoughts." He raised his hands in defence. 

"Wouldn't dream of it, madame." She raised herself from the bed, anger flowing through her veins. 

"You will address me as 'Your Majesty'!" She shouted, and he only smirked bitterly. 

"You might be a queen," he said, "but you're not my queen." 

She knew it, of course she knew it. And yet, his answer enraged her nonetheless. Kisa has told her many times to think twice before making any rash decisions, and she realizer she should have listened to her. 

"I know why you brought me here." She raised her chin, feeling the tension. 

"You know nothing." He closed in the distance between them, and their chests were almost touching. She hated the way she had to look up at him. And she hated the way he looked at her, with hatred and with lust and she hated the way he aroused her in that very moment. 

She didn't know when it happened, but she found her hand resting on his shoulder. Her breathing was shallow, and she could tell by the way he looked at her that he hated her. And wanted her. And she, him. 

So she kissed him. Reluctantly, at first, and ready to pull back at any moment, and when he kissed her back, the flame she had felt earlier reappeared in her heart and between her legs. Why? She asked herself. Why did she allow herself to be so weak? 

The hand on his shoulder found her way to his face, and the other was exploring his hair, so soft for someone who'd spent the last few days in a dungeon. His hands were around her waist, in a possessive manner she enjoyed. She didn't want to seem that eager, though it was no secret to either of them that she would fuck him right there and then. And she broke the kiss, but not without lingering for a moment too long in his touch. 

His eyes held a burning question.   
"In another life, perhaps." She said, and a tear fell down her cheek, perfectly. 

"And until then?" Morgana couldn't answer that. She couldn't send him with the others, not after this. She couldn't keep him around either, though a very, very small part of her wanted to. 

"Until then, you will be my guest." 

"So that means I get to leave?" She shook her head. "Still a prisoner, then." 

She looked him in the eye, careful to keep a distance between them. 

"You see, Sir Knight-" 

"Gwaine," he corrected her.

"You see, Gwaine, there's a difference between a dungeon and a room in a castle." 

"I do not want to seem ungrateful, but I can not let my friends work in miserable conditions while I live in a castle. I will not." He said, and for some reason those words alone gave her a strange feeling of familiarity. 

"I am sorry, I cannot let them go. That is my decision." She answered, avoiding his eye. 

"Yes you can, you can still undo-" Morgana raised her hand and stopped him. 

"And my decision is final."

"Then I choose to join them." His eyes were honest, she knew he meant it with all his heart. But she couldn't. 

* 

After that, she had called the guards and they took him to a room in the east wing of the castle, locking him inside. He could not stop yelling after her even when the doors to her room closed. 

She still could not believe she alone had put an end to that lively spirit. She was all sorts of things, but not a coward. And yet, she executed the man she loved. 

* 

Kisa locked Gwaine in a secret dungeon below her own chambers, where nobody ever looked. She had to tell Morgana he was deas, at least for now. She had to test her. 

When she entered her chambers, the queen turned immediately, and it was visible even to a blind man that she was grieving for what she had done - or thought she had done. 

"It's done." A tear fell down her pale cheek, followed by another and another. Kisa had to look away. 

"Are you sure?" She asked. 

"Well..." 

"Is he dead or not? Did you find his body?" Morgana was running out of patience. 

"No, my queen. He might have escaped." Kisa bowed her head. 

"Then why are you telling me it's done? What is the meaning of this?" She had never seen her queen so close to despair. Kisa loved her, and Morgana loved Gwaine. No matter the cost, she would protect him, for her. Kisa couldn't hope of changing her queen's ways, but he could make her happy. At least for a while, before the fool of Arthur Pendragon ruined everything.

"He's here." 

* 

At nightfall, Kisa helped Gwaine get past the guards and showed him the way through a secret tunnel that went into Morgana's chambers. He felt nervous, but not because of the chances of losing his head. 

The queen gazed out the window, standing as calm as still water and as mighty as he knew her to be. He realized, there and then, that he loved her. Evil or good or whatever, he loved her. And in the end, how was he so different from Arthur, who chose Guinevere when everything and everyone told hom not to? 

He didn't make a sound, and yet she had somehow heard him and slowly turned to face him. He froze on the spot as she kept walking towards him, with the pale moonlight glowing on her beautiful features. He had never seen her so radiant, so full of hope, so... not evil. There was just hope in her eyes as she quickened her pace until she stood inches from him. 

"I-" she began, but he shook his head. 

"I know." He raised a hand and touched her face, before she wrapped her arms around him in a possessive manner. They had no future together, he realized, holding her tightly. A knight and a wicked queen - but there was no wickedness in her, not now. She was not anymore the person who made him fight for food in Camelot. She was his. And he was hers.


End file.
